I am so sorry!

I think i should say sorry to all my online friends especially to my big sis, francesca.
Actually, I got my first love before. Even thought i dont really think that she's my first love. Yeah! I aren't typing the wrong words. It's a she. I think the reason i could met her is because of Fate. I still appreciate everything happened last time even i don't really like it and i think it's an ugly memories for me. So, i will tell out everything now.

I met her few years ago and i knew her because of Band! She's a trumpet player and i am the clarinetist. We were both junior even thought she's one year older than me. I couple with her last year during October. And i'm the one who chase her because of the "love at the first sight". I keep message her and she was always free to reply me. After 3 months, i told her that i fall for her. But she said she need some time to think about it. For sure my answer is Okay! No problem. We still chat for everyday but the think make me feel really pissed off is she always treat me like a stranger when we're at school. No matter how sweet the messages she have sent to me last night, she will still treat me as stranger on the next day.

One day, my mum read my message. My mum asked me who that fella is! I just stay quit and walk out from the house. At that momment, i know that the relationship between me and her is totally impossible. And i am really thinking hard about " our future". We still continued our life style like last time after this. We still message each other and nothing happen other than that.

Things continue until the end of the year. I started to avoid her after i realised that i am just admire her and not fall for her. I know i am cruel but there's the only things i can do at that momment. She didnt realise at first and soon, she knew about it. Everyday, she will message me even thought she know i wont reply her messages. She kept telling me how much she miss me but i didnt even reply once. She tried to called me but i didnt answer. She wrote on her blog how much she love me and the pain of thinking on someone who don't like her anymore. I hope to reply but still, nothing i do.

One day, i receive another message from her. She said she hope i will tell her even if i want to brake up with her. She don't want to continue the life like this. And finally, i reply her. I said, I want to brake up with you. She reply me why and i said, she stres me a lot and i am just admire her not love her. She reply me just few words. And that few words make me feel so sorry to her. She said, I am crying. She hope we're still friend and i said okay! But i didnt even reply her after these happened like last time. No matter she asked for my friends phone number, or just asking something bored, i DIDNT reply her once.

She wrote on her blog and called me to see it. This what she wrote there : "I think we shouldn't be friend. Not even a normal friend like last time. I wish you will get the happiness and May God Bless You. Goodbye, my ex-lover." That's my story. I really dont think that she's my first love. And so i tell francesca at LJ that i didnt even have my first love.

Big sis Francesca,
I am sure you're thinking that i am lesbian or i lie to you now. But i really didnt mean to bluff you because i don't really think that that's my first love. I am really sorry, big sis. I shouldn't lie to you. Sorry..

I hope she will forgive me. Even thought i know i deserve it but... I am really sorry. And that's the story between me and a girl that everyone called it as my first love.

I Love You.

I posted something on my facebook.
Some of my friend have reply me some comment
Some of them gave me some advice.
Even thought i don't know some of them, but they still very care about me.
This make me feel lovely, because i know i'm not lonely.
Everything happen so suddenly, including my love to you too i have it so suddenly.
Maybe someday i will regret i didnt tell how much i love you,
But i know everything i do is just for my lovely you.

Fighting!!

Many things happened on this few weeks.
A fight between me and my classmate for some reason, got ignored by friend, angry easily, loneliness came to me, a fight within me and my sister, and others.
Now, every bad things has over! I believe happiness will come to me soon! =)

Yoochun/ Xiah/ Hero, i know you too facing a lot of problem now.
As a friend / fans of you, i will support you for everything!
Fighting!! =)

Happy Birthday Buddy =)

JishuuuU!!!

Yong and Jishu!

SiewChin and Jishu

Jishu and Lifang

Dear : Jishu
Wow, i just realised that we already know each other for nearly 4 years [ 0.0 ]. And it's already the last year for our secondary school and we going to face our SPM soon. Hope you will get good result in you SPM for sure! And i too hope we will still be friends after these! There's too many memories between me, you, lifang and siewchin.

4 of us are like the identical twins. Hahhaha. Even though we doesnt look the same but our thinking, the way we speak, age [ >< ] will always be the same! Sometimes i really feel that 3 of you will be my only true friends at this world. Of course! Sometime we will argue but we have the same personality! We will forget everything after an hour or maybe until the next day i think [ >< ]. Hahaha. 4 of us love TVXQ so so much. You like Jaejoong, Siewchin love Xiah, I like Micky, and Lifang keep changing her mind all the way, so i don't really know who's the one she like. Hahahah. But i know the Song Hyun from FT ISLAND is the one she love at this momment. Hahahah.

We always share everything we have like our drinks, our food, our shirt, our idea, and our house! Hahahahha. You all always said i am just like Changmin, there's nothing important for me other than food. Hahahah. We always said you are just like Micky and Hero, because you're too fashionable! Hahaha. Lifang just like Xiah! She always talking some... jokes?? Can i calculate that as a joke? Because some time i dont even understand what she wanted to say [ >< ]. For siewchin, she have some combined personality of 3 of us. Hahaha. Sometimes she're just like lifang, sometimes me, and sometimes you! She's more complicated compare to 3 of us huh? And i still remember the 1st time i stayed at your house! I got scolded by my mum after reached home because suddenly make this decision! Hahaha

There's really a lot of memories "pop" out suddenly when i am writing this. Now another one come out from my mind >> The 1st time 4 of us go out together! Hahahaha. Really funny!
I am writing this because today is your birthday and i really hope 4 of us will remember the momment when we're together. And i too scare someday if i forget about this, I can come here when i am free and i will smile again when i see this post like now! =)

Jishu, My Buddy!
Happy Birthday!
I Love You, buddy! [ lifang and siewchin too =) ]

From : yong =)